Thursday, June 19, 2008

Jimmy Fallon to Host "Late Night"?!?

Is there something I'm missing about Jimmy Fallon?

My exposure to him was via SNL, both in skits and on Weekend Update. His delivery was as wooden as they come, bringing to mind images of a below-average 3rd grader reciting a grocery list -- and those were the lines that he actually *remembered.* Otherwise he divided his screen time between deciphering the strange symbols that appeared on the Teleprompter, and suppressing laughter at how damned clever he was.

And it was just embarrassing when they made him bring out a guitar, in a bid to clone Adam Sandler's success. You could almost hear the frantic clicking of the "APPLAUSE" button coming from the control room, as he struggled through a few chords while trying to sing "funny, edgy, made-up lyrics" to the tunes of mediocre alternapop songs of the mid-90s, then he'd stop and there would be two seconds of dead air as he waited for applause, beaming and glancing around waiting for the prompted audience applause and approval, because he'd just played four different chords in a row -- while singing, yet! [SUPERSTAR!!!]

In any acting/performing class, you'll learn that the first rule of comedy is, "Do not laugh at your own jokes."

So, am I a grouch and not appreciating a great talent? Or is this guy just such a hack that he can't even be bothered to phone in his mediocre material, before going live before a national audience?

I can't be the only one who sees this. If I'm wrong, enlighten me.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Windows: Utter, Complete Crap.

An Exercise in Enlightenment for PC fans [by me, as posted somewhere on Digg]:

1. Print off all of your comments in support of Microsoft Windows (any version: 3.0, 3.1, up through Vista -- whichever you'd like)

2. Take all of these printed comments and lock them in a fireproof box.

3. Wait 15 years.

4. In the year 2023, find your little fireproof box. Then, reread all of your praises for Windows and how Microsoft just isn't getting a fair shake.

5. Have a revelation.

6. If you haven't had a revelation, try replacing every instance of the phrase "Microsoft Windows" with the phrase "8-Track Tape Deck." 

7. Now, read all of your saved comments again.

8. If you still haven't had a revelation, then by all means continue using Windows. It will be far more than adequate for you, whatever your computing needs.